And more …
Suicidal Thoughts
If you are thinking about killing yourself, although you may not see it right now, I promise you, there are more choices than you can think of at this moment. DON’T DO IT! Instead, call for help – 911 or your local Crisis Line. The 24-hour San Diego Access and Crisis Line phone number is 1-888-924-7240.
Parenting Your Children and Yourself
Everyone who has had or seen children, thinks they are an expert on parenting!
Parents are connected with their children on so many levels, involving their relationship with their own parents and others, their relationship with themselves, and of course their relationships with their own children. When parents have the ability to take their time, and appreciate the significance of all those other layers, and think clearly before acting, they do what’s right. Those with the best parenting skills are those who can step back from their own stuff and only consider their child and what is the best fit for their child’s particular personality style and needs.
Of course as humans, in a demanding and frenetic world this is not always possible and we can only do our best.
I suggest parents take the lead, act responsibly and get educated to do our best. Learn what are the developmentally normal thoughts and behaviors for your children at their ages. Resources include: books, CDs, classes at clinics, hospitals, churches, synagogues, and more. Then take lots of deep breaths, practice patience and caring and all that you learn that feels right, and then you will naturally be your best.
Your children are not just extensions of you, they are their own selves. I invite you to look at them in the eye and genuinely wonder what‘s going on inside of them. And as you do that they will understand that you really want to get to know them. This will build good self-esteem and a sense of worthiness and a sense of being connected to a part of something larger than themselves.
Consider if we were living in a perfect world, and your parents had been able to do this for you, what kind of strengths would you have as a child, and now in your life? It’s never too late to look at yourself in the eye with that accepting loving attitude you would give your children, and help yourself know that you were/are also a worthy child. Try it! You will also grow in self-esteem, and strengthen your sense of worthiness and a sense of being connected to a part of something larger than yourself.
Picking the right therapist
It’s very personal. Like other relationships – someone who is right for someone else, may not be right for you. My advice is to write down a few questions and make some phone calls.
When calling a therapist, ask about their education, style, expertise, insurance affiliations and fees. Listen to them talk and notice how it feels in your gut. Let them know your reasons for wanting therapy. They should let you know if their expertise is a good match. If not, they may have referral ideas.
When at the first session, observe:
Does your therapist look you in the eye?
Are they on the phone, drinking coffee, or multi-tasking as you speak?
Are they talking about themselves too much?
Can you fool them like you can fool others? If the answer is no, go for it.
After several sessions, if something doesn’t feel right about the session, let your therapist know. Discussing this with a therapist is usually a safe way of practicing the art of taking charge of your life, and your sessions will be more successful. If things still don’t feel right, let your therapist know and maybe he/she will help you find someone more compatible with your needs.
Psychiatry and Meds
A Psychiatrist has an M.D. and specific education about mental illness. I refer to some excellent psychiatrists if my patients request psychiatric medications.
Any medical doctor can dispense most all medications. But they can’t all be experts on everything. Often, doctors only know what the drug companies tell them.
Only a psychiatrist is an expert on psychiatric medications. They learn what the drug companies have to teach them about the individual medications, and they have the benefit of seeing many patients and learning the realities of these medication effects.
Although it is best to stay under a psychiatrist’s care, if you cannot, at least consult with one before you begin to take a psychiatric medication. And be aware that herbs, enzymes and homeopathic medications can be dangerous if not specifically accurate for your body problem. Even though they are sold over the counter, please take them seriously enough to research thoroughly what are their interaction effects with other medications.